Sunday, March 9, 2008

Little Clouds Of Thought

I just made up that random title. Here I am on a Sunday afternoon bordering on the evening, doing an assignment. Other than organizational politics, there are a million things running in my mind right now. The first one of them is today would have been my Grandmother's 81st birthday - Aaji, I hope you're reading this, and all my love is with you. Do you read my blog regularly? :D - I am also wondering how I'm going to get all my work for school done in a very short time. I was asked by a certain someone to write more serious stuff here. But what if I dont want to? Its my space just to be. I don't have to write all kinds of techie stuff in order to be cool. Nor do I have to write about management and my ideas of a better strategy. I love writing about general things, my thoughts, friends,family and I have a fun time writing about my shopping escapades.
This is the second or the third saturday night and sunday I'm spending studying. If this was Chennai, saturday night would have been spent having dinner outside or a general night out with friends. Sunday afternoon would have been at A's place watching That 70's Show episodes or some movie. Shyam providing us with entertainment. The evening would inevitably end at Subway, with A finishing his sub and mine, and then going home to Thayir saadam. (next time you ask me why ur jeans size went up without you realizing, i'm going to direct you to this space)
All these things make me miss Madras more and more. But on the other hand I do love it here as well. I don't really know where it is that I want to end up. One of my best friends is getting engaged tomorrow and needless to say, I am not going to be there. I will probably miss her wedding as well. "Be prepared to miss a lot of things now that your here" was what I was told by my cousin. But I dont want to. I dont want to miss things that are happening with my family and my friends, with people whom I care for. At the same time, I dont want to forgo what I am doing here. I guess I'm speaking not just for myself, but a whole bunch of people in the same situation. I do not regret coming here, I will not regret any decision that I probably am going to take. Cause thats one question that I always ask to make things clear to myself "Ne, are you going to regret this decision a year or 10 years later?" If the answer is no, then I know what to do.

One thing that really puts me off, is people who come here and then complain that this place is not like India. Why the eff would it be? You are half way across the world, how can you even EXPECT it to be the same? I come across a whole bunch of these types. I dont like the supermarkets here. I dont like the way the vegetables taste. Its not like home where everything is so tasty. The Indian store is too expensive. What is this we are studying? Such a stupid subject. I just cannot refrain from asking why did they make this choice to even come here in the first place. Why would one spends lakhs of rupess to come and study here, and then diss the country? I feel that the whole experience and quality of education is wasted on them.
Some thing that I have tried to explain to people. I am not anti-any country. I do not love or hate any place. I will just probably gravitate towards an opportunity that will help me grow professionally and on a personal level as well. I have a special love for home because of the support system that exists there. Why wouldn't I love to be closer to my family and enjoy the benefits of a good education and a career? I did not come to a country half way across the world just for fun!

9 comments:

Nikhil Neelakantan said...

# ne: A lot on you blog reminds me of the 2 words i told you before you left.... "Don't go"...

Brat said...

"One thing that really puts me off, is people who come here and then complain that this place is not like India. Why the eff would it be?"

I totally agree. The whole point of moving is to experience a new culture and enjoy what this place has to offer. After sometime, people can make an educated decision on whether to continue living here or go back to India. I, for one, enjoy every part of my life here!

germinal dreamer said...

As they say, Denial is the first phase of any drastic change. They will eventually accept in the coming phases, until then its going to be jalapenos and not pacha mozhaga in their sambhar.

Brat said...

Btw, I blogrolled you as well! :-)

Ne said...

@ niks - its a completely different experience nik. something i wouldnt give up for anything right now!

@brat - :) im totally loving the new life!

@germinal dreamer - well, I guess it must be the whole denial phase. But im talking abt the types who would go back to india and then say "US mein yeh aur US mein woh." There is no excuse to such behavior! (i love jalapenos in my sandwich btw, :D and also missing sambar like M.A.D. im talking abt Amma's sambar not mine)

i think therefore i am said...

i wont tell u anything u havent been told in ur earlier comments. Reading ur post was almost like a reflection of what I felt when I first moved here. You will get over it and move on and make a whole lot of new frnds here.. At the expense of sounding like an old aunt.. jus read this post again in a year from now and u will smile at it..trust me

i think therefore i am said...

more specifically at the thot process u have now.. It will bring a smile to ur face..

Ne said...

@i think.. - well, yeah I guess!!!

vinay kumar said...

Like GB said " I hate to feel at home when Iam trvelling."