I just found I have a very sharp tooth.The inside of one of my incisors(?)(trying to recollect class 8 zoology here) has suddenly turned nice and sharp.Funny I dint notice it before.I've been running my tongue up and down that side of the tooth for the last couple of days in fascination. Teeth are a very sensitive area for me. I am paranoid about anything to do with them.Even a glimpse of that small mirror like thing and that slightly crooked dentist's tool is enough to send me running in the opposite direction. I also have weird recurring dreams of my teeth falling and that I'd never ever get new ones. Maybe I need help.

The last week has been slightly mad. I've been running around here and there to get somethings done before I leave for home.Home? So which IS my home now? College Park is my home too! :-)

Last week we'd gone to the National Geographic headquarters at Washington DC. My friend/roommate was interning there for the last semester and there was this 'open day' like thing going on. We got to look around inside and also go to her lab. We met her supervisor and colleagues in the lab and spent time talking to them and getting to know what kind of work they do! It was truly wonderful. To be inside that office and see pictures and talk to the people who's work we have grown up watching on TV.

And of course DC. I love walking down the streets of DC and Georgetown.Every time I go there I fall in love with the city even more. If only it wasn't so expensive I'd live there.*wishful thinking* I'm really happy I live so close by though.It takes just 20 minutes to get there by the metro.

I just finished reading The Glass Castle by Jeannette Wells. Written very well, its about her life and her parents and the dysfunctional life they lead through her childhood. It takes you through quite an emotional up and down and at the end of it you wonder what makes people behave a certain way? Especially when they are responsible for other human beings, their children.

Too many thoughts, too many things to do, so little time.Till next time... Toodles dearies!

the countdown?

Ok, so the countdown has officially begun.. to going home this December. I never ever thought I'd look forward to going home so much. I mean, I'm pretty happy here, I've set a (non)routine for myself, managing decently -school and work. Most of the desi people here literally LIVE for going home. A trip to India is accompanied by 'wow's and 'awesommmme' and other similar adjectives. Beats me. If they dot want to be here, then why are they? I mean might as well go home right? If they think home is THAT awesome, then why did they leave? Did anyone force them to come here? I always feel whatever conscious choice is made should be taken as a learning experience. By complaining and whining, nothing is going to change, or help. And if it is something that CAN be helped, the bloody well do it!

As for me, I guess I'm missing family the most. And my friends, whom I've grown up with. I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone again. After this very eventful summer, I need some love from the parental unit and the friends, not to mention the brother. Who is growing taller every minute.I guess I am going to miss my life here. And I'm more confused than ever. Im hoping my trip home can answer some questions and make a few things clearer.

So here's to chennai'ness..Walks on the beach,Nana's biryani, shopping at the silver shops at spencer's plaza, late night ice cream at freez zone and snow field, pani puri and gangotree, stay overs at friends place, home made yoghurt, spending time with cousins, fighting for the TV remote with the brother,being woken up at 8 30 AM for the maid to sweep the floor, Amma yelling 'lei lei leyyyi*' in the mornings..and last but not the least.. my room and my bed! :-)


*wake up wake up wakkkkkke up!!

Its 11 30 pm on Sunday night and I'm still at school. A burrito bol, packet of chips, brownies, rice and channa, fries, coffee, 12 hours and other random stuff later and we're still half way through the book for the exam. sigh.

And another tag, this one I want to do.She dint tag me, but I'm going to do this anyway! :-)

Your oldest memories:

Fussing what to wear in the mornings before going to school. Yes. I was three.
Watching tadpoles in the puddles made by rainwater in Abacus (my school).
My grandmother reading to me in the afternoons and dad in the night before putting me to sleep.
Shampooing my barbie's hair.

What were you doing 10 years ago?

10 years ago, I was 13, in 9th standard. Most of that year was spent listening to all the teachers go on and on about the board exams we would have to 'face' next year. This was also the year Sne and I stopped 'playing' downstairs with the other kids and started talking more..We would spend hours on the terrace discussing what most 13 year old girls would. We read a few Mills&Boon books that year too!

Your first thought in the morning..
'Just five minutes more?'

If you built a time capsule it would have..
Taken be back to school to relive some of those days? Or would it take me a few years into the future to know what its going to be like? Where am I going to end up and who am I going to spend my life with? It feels like I'm the only one in the dark since all my friends are slowly getting hitched.

This year..
I started studying again..I moved to the US to do my masters. Learned to operate the washing machine(I know I was slightly pampered at home), manage my life and my house. I feel I have grown so much more in this one year than I have ever felt before.

What do you see yourself doing 14 years from now?
My mind is drawing a blank right now. I just wish I'm happy with whatever I end up doing.

Of disbelief and helplessness??

I wanted to refrain from writing and talking about this. The last 5 days have been absolute madness with what happened in Mumbai, we all know it and its all we have been talking about. Everyone is still reeling with shock, anger and the worst of all helplessness. Usually, we see people blaming each other, other groups and sects, and even the government. But this time, everyone seems to be taking the blame. The government says that they have failed, and so are we. Now, isn't that the most confusing bit? If the citizens ourselves take the blame of not being responsible enough, what are we going to do to make things better, in effect, damage control? Isn't that the worst feeling? Of helplessness? What are we going to do? And what is going to happen? Most of us, and by us I mean my peers and the people I interact with. Did we even vote the last time? I know a lot of us who dint. Do we have the right to blame the government and say that they are not taking care of us and we need to live in a safe India? What about those of us who are not living in India anymore? I wake up this morning and see my mailbox flooded with email and my facebook home page full of events on Candle lights and walks, and gatherings and marches. I am not against such gestures, nor am I against people or groups who organize such events. But what good is that going to do? Doesn't that just reinforce our position of helplessness and fear? Light some candles, walk a 100 meters and then what? Go back home and watch the news, cry out in disbelief and voice a hundred opinions as to what the government should do? I cannot deny that I am scared. I am scared for my family, my loved ones back home and for myself as well. What can I, or even we do today? Honestly, I do not know. And neither do you. So please, do not pretend to.

I'm back!

It's been a while since I blogged. Almost a month in fact. I don't really know why I dint feel like posting anything. Not that nothing has happened, or I dint find anything blog worthy. In fact my life seems to have changed drastically since my last post. A lot of things have happened and I'd like to think I've grown past certain things in my life and am looking at myself, people around me and the world with a different perspective. A more mature, positive way of thinking I'd like to believe. A lot of things to let go, a lot to embrace and look forward to in the future.

I have a presentation in an hour for the final of one of my courses.Wish me luck! More later..

Some more bread?? aargh!

I'm in school and I'm hungry. I go to the food court at the student union here and what are my choices? Pizza, Stuffed Pizza, Stromboli(yumm), sandwich, burgers, wraps, the inevitable taco bell, panda express, subway and some more. Notice one common factor among them all? BREAD. Filled with carbs and nothing more. And then we have cheese and the fried stuff in them. Now how does anyone expect to lose weight and stay in shape? I'm sick of all the bread around me. It's not just at school but everywhere we go, its all about bread. I was never big on it back home, and now I'm forced to eat it. When I go home, I'm not going to even LOOK at bread. That's decided. I'm sick of it. This happens ALL the time. Even now. I'm feeling guilty as hell. I was so hungry after lab I had a slice of pizza and fries. And now I feel terrible for feeding my body all this junk.This was in the afternoon. Sufficient time has passed for me to feel hungry again and what were my choices? Coffee, pastry, danish and eclair. I settled for the eclair and now guilt strikes again. I'm going to have roti and dal when I get home. Or just some dal. sigh. And now get back to my paper on GE's business strategy on outsourcing.

Tagged again

The best thing about this semester is that I have Fridays off.Which explains my extreme laziness this morning..err,afternoon.

I started writing this post on Friday, before I got distracted, and now I'm attempting to finish it up! School and work are going on as usual, right into the middle of the semester with a lot of submissions, profs making us turn in papers left,right and center.Sigh. This should be titled 'Travails of grad student life'.

So Aishu sent me an email tag, and instead of replying to her, I decided to post it! How interesting. Now you get to know a little bit more about me, which I'm SURE you are dying to know..here goes..

What time did you get up this morning?
8 30 AM. That was the time I dragged my a$$ out of the bed. I actually woke up at much earlier thanks to my wonderful roomies who's alarms ring every 5 min from 7 30!! (its alright. I still lou you guys! :D)

Diamonds or pearls?
Diamonds. Is that even a question??

What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Rock on. Apart from the fact that Farhan Akhtar was looking HOT beyond belief, the movie was ok-ok. A bit cliched, but made well nevertheless. I usually don't like guys/men with long hair but this time I had to make an exception. Farhan in that 'rocker' type image, bandana and shades.. oooh!

What is your favorite TV show?
I'm not much of a TV person. But if I do watch, I like watching comedy..and sex and city.

What do you usually have for breakfast?
IF I have breakfast its usually bagel and cream cheese, or cereal. Coffee is a must though.

What is your middle name?
I don't have one.


What food do you dislike?
Upma. Otherwise I'm not too fussy.

What kind of car do you drive?
Being the poor grad student that I am, I rely on the school shuttle.

Favorite sandwich?
Does an Eggel count? Thats like my FAV EVER!

What characteristic do you despise?
When someone tries to be something they are not.

Favorite item of clothing?
I love skirts and dresses.Especially summery ones.

If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
Long list. Italy, South Africa, Egypt, Turkey

What color is your bathroom?
Umm, White and cream?

Favorite brand name of clothing?
I like Guess!

Where would you retire to?
Some warm place for sure. I despise winters.


What was your most memorable birthday?
My 21st.As cliched as it sounds, its true!

Favorite sport to watch?
Cricket? I hardly watch sports.

Farthest place you are sending this?
Someone in Zimbabwe could be reading this for all I know.

Favorite saying?
Blah. Fits almost anywhere.

When is your birthday?
March 4

Are you a morning person or a night person?
I'm an Owl


What is your shoe size?
7 1/2

Pets?
No. But I'd love to have a dog one day.


Any new and exciting news you’d like to share with us?
I wish there was!


What did you want to be when you were little?
A teacher.

What are you wearing today?
Formal pants, shirt and closed shoes.Career fair. Need I say more?

What is your favorite candy?
Chocolat!


What is your favorite flower?
I don't know what they're called, but those small yellow ones you get in bunches.

What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
Diwali I guess.Been like forever since I have worn a saree. Very very bored of jeans I must say.

What church do you attend?
I don't go to church.

What are you listening to right now?
'Yeh Tumhari Meri Baatein' - Rock on. I'm addicted to this song!

What was the last thing you ate?
Roti and aloo

Do you wish on stars?
Yes. *blush*

If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Pink

How is the weather right now?
End of fall and winter is on the way. :-(

Last person you spoke to on the phone?
Nishita I think. No one *interesting* if thats what your implying.

Do you like the person who sent this to you?
Yes. *louu* :D

Favorite soft drink?
Fanta

Favorite restaurant?
I'd give anything to go to The Kabab Factory now.

Hair color?
Black with streaks of Fuschia

Favorite day of the year?
Any day I get to sleep in late

What was your favorite toy as a child?
My barbie

Summer or winter?
I used to hate summers. But it was only after I got here I realized how *terrible* winters are. I LOVE summers now. The weather, summer clothes and shoes.. already waiting for summer 09

Hugs or Kisses?
Both!

Chocolate or Vanilla?
CHOCOLATE

When was the last time you cried?
A month back I think

What is under your bed?
Nothing. Its clean.

What did you do last night?
Um. Slept.

Favorite smell?
Sweet pea spray by Bath and Body works

What are you afraid of?
Scorpions

Plain, buttered, or salted Popcorn?
Salted

How many keys on your key ring?
One big and two small ones

How many years at your current job?
Since I work at school, its been half a semester I guess.

Favorite day of the week?
Thursday nights.

How many cities have you lived in?
If College Park can be counted as a city, then 3. If not its 2.

Do you make friends easily?
Sometimes.

How many people will you be sending this to?
I am not tagging anyone, but whoever reads this, feel free to do this tag and post it!

Moving

I hate moving. All that packing and shifting things. Unpacking and setting up the house all over again. Opening boxes and bags and more boxes and more bags. Ugh.For the world of me, I fail to understand how I managed to accumulate/gather so much stuff. My roommates and I needed 2 trucks to carry all our stuff.In two trips. Needless to say, I'm exhausted. I'm so tired I'm unable to sleep. I need some help to get through this week.I have a bunch of assignments to submit.God,give me some strength.

PHYS 103?

Ok. So I'm going to be teaching Physics to the undergrads from now on. Wish me luck peepal! :D

Back to school

Technically the day before yesterday was the first day of the fall semester and we're back at school. After a summer(??) of 40 hours of work a week on campus, I was looking forward to half the work and classes. The fact that I dint have to take the 7 15 bus in the morning itself was enough to make me smile. So I woke up this morning late and happy, but then I dint have to go to school till the afternoon. I was actually bored. I dint like the nothingness of the morning and was feeling so bleurgh. Why? Why did I miss going to school in the morning when every morning was spent complaining, cursing and whining? Not just me, but by my room mates as well. It was something like how I used to wait and wait for the summer holidays and then get bored after a few days. There is something about work that makes you miss it when you have none!

Now its back to the grind of assignments,reading and writing. I have all these strategic management type courses this time and it looks like I have a lot of work cut out for me. Reading all these cases and stuff. Exciting yes, tough yes. My mind hasn't yet started adapting to the management way of thinking.. but I'm getting there.. I know I am! (yes, positive thinking works).

The parental unit seems to be missing their darling daughter a lot these days. Calls everyday and stuff. Wonder why! :-) Yes parents.. me is missing you too. And the brother as well. Much loouve and big kissies from me! <3

The weather today is sooooo good. Its light and rainy and pleasant. It should be against the law to work on days like this. Right now, all I want to do it go on a long drive on ECR. For the uninitiated, its the East Coast Road along the beach from Chennai to Pondicherry. Today's the day for laziness, to stay curled up in bed with the comforter wrapped around you.. all fluffiness and pillows. To wake up to some nice coffee and read a book. To have someone to cuddle up to and take long walks.

Sigh.

The French Vanilla Cappuccino helped some. :-)

I had this conversation with someone I knew yesterday and its been running in my mind since then. Someone made a snide comment yesterday and it kind of hurt my feelings. Especially since I was being genuine about something and it took me by surprise. Later in the evening I confided in a friend and we were talking about it, and I just let it go. Mostly because we came to the conclusion that the said person dint mean any harm and that's just a part of their nature. What I just don't understand is how can people talk without thinking? Its not like we are kids anymore and we just say things for the heck of it. Even though they might have been brought up in a different culture and a place that is no excuse for such talk and behavior. I might have let it go if it was the first time, but I noticed that Its a habit and it puts people in awkward situation when s/he makes an open ended statement in front of everyone. These kind of silly baseless statements have really started getting to me.

Or maybe its just me? Am I getting less tolerant towards such talk? I find myself getting increasingly irritated with people making conversation and saying things because they can find nothing else to talk about. The worst part is, its not that s/he is just an acquaintance that I should let it go, but not close enough to tell them the truth. I guess I'll just let it go. Maybe only time will teach and they will (hopefully) grow mentally and learn what to and what not to say to certain people.

I really don't know what to say when I read this today.

All that needs to be done to avoid such incidents is basic safety precautions. A small sign saying "Please do not cross the tracks" does not suffice. Thousands of people commute by the local trains everyday. We used to travel to and from college by train. I confess I did cross the tracks a couple of times but most of the time I made it a point to use the over head bridge. This is really scary, especially since I know people who took to crossing the rail tracks all the time completely neglecting the over head bridge.

I really can't do anything much sitting all the way here, but I would like to put my 2 cents worth and tell everyone..Please use the foot bridge when you travel by the local trains in chennai.

Oh well, here I am on a wednesday night and its 11. 10 pm. As usual, this morning I decided to sleep early tonight and it isn't happening. Im such an owl. I also need to go to the library and get some new books. With my hectic schedule I haven't really had the time to do anything.

Its Hema's wedding today. I guess by this time they would have finished the ceremony and everything. I am slowly coming to terms with everyone getting married. Its no longer who's 'going out with' who. Its more of when and where is the wedding type of thing.Life. :) I SO wish I was there right now.

This is for you Hema.. A BIG hug and lots and lots of love from me. All the best for everything. Love you lots. And love you Aishu,Scoob and Aarthi who are there with her now. Photoshop me there right next to you guys. *mmuah*

Just... there!

Contrary to my last couple of posts, I don't have much to say. No inner thoughts, rants,contemplations.. nothing! Which is a refreshing change. My brain is being used for other things right now, so you have a very overworked Ne staring at the screen not having much to write about. Everyday is a mad rush to get to school, to catch the 7 17 bus and start work. Everyday we decide to sleep early, but never happens. Everyday I decide to do this much of work but there is more piling up waiting for me tomorrow. Weekends are packed with either a hundred people wanting to do a hundred things, or absolutely nothing to do. I can do with some nothing for a little while. It looks like the summer is more hectic than my semester with full time work at school.

Otherwise, I've been getting pretty bad reviews of 'Singh is Kinng' so decided to give it a miss. Not even going to take the effort of watching it online. When I saw the promos and the hype it dint quite go down too well with me to begin with so its alright.

Its just tuesday and I'm already counting the days to the weekend. Its like I'm living for saturdays and sundays to come.

H and her parents went to my place to invite the parental unit for her wedding. I'm feeling terrible I'm missing it. I've known her since we were 9. Through fights, growing up, funny clothes and hair, stay overs, make overs, height comparisons, long phone conversations, exams, tensions, love life(s), moving out of home and whole lot of others. When I miss all these things, it makes me wonder if all what I'm doing is worth it? I'm missing home, my parents, my friends, girl stuff. But I love it here too. I'm really happy to be here and I'm discovering a side to myself I dint know existed. And its been just 9 months since I've left home.

Not-so-Little brother decides to chuck his psp and learn the guitar instead. And also complimented me on my hair. Interesting. When I heard it I was speechless for a whole minute. His days usually comprised of calling me names and showing his affection in similar ways. So when he told me he is wants to do something 'productive' with his time like learning to play a new instrument, I was really happy with this change. I hear he's around 6 ft tall now too. Someone's growing up. Personally, me thinks he and his friends found out that girls like guys who play the guitar and sing and stuff. He's a big boi.

And then he told me he ate roti and jam for dinner. :-)

Me??

According to www.wordle.net, this is what I am supposed to mean..in more than 2 words.One of my friends likes these fun word things, came across this link, and entered my blog URL to see what is generated.




This page is supposed to describe me. figure it out. figure me out. I'm still trying. :-)

Jaded

Sometimes I don't want to talk.
Sometimes I don't want to listen to your incessant talk.
Sometimes I don't want to have meaningless conversation.
Sometimes I don't want to to talk about other people and their lives.
Sometimes I don't want to be a part of anything.
Sometimes I don't want to think.
Sometimes I don't want to laugh or smile or be nice. or answer stupid questions.
Sometimes I don't want to pretend everything is alright.
Sometimes I don't want to just have to do what they tell me to.
Sometimes I don't want to be there.
Sometimes I do want to be left alone. Sometimes I don't.
Sometimes I want to be a part of everything. Sometimes I don't.
Sometimes I just want to lie there and wait. for what? I don't really know.
Sometimes I want to just be. Sometimes I am..jaded.

Of summer love and the sea

I wish I was free to go back to the era of summer love and daisies in the field. To run with the wind in my hair, our hair, and feel effortless light but liquid like the air around us. Smell the sea breeze from far. If I thought about it, I would like to travel more, see the gondolas in Venice and the pyramids of Egypt, privy to more secrets than you or I could ever imagine. Open my eyes to the love of life, to the unconditional love dripping from the eyes of my golden Labrador. Look into the mirror, have the freedom to move to different places,different times. I wish I was elegant like the tango and the ballet and be invisible because the possibilities are beyond imagination. I'd like to paint, bold colors of red,green,peacock blue and gold.But also mix in the subtle mauve and white, a dot of black for that is life.Brilliant vibrant strokes across the wall, across time itself. Bring an angel along, a blessing for everyone, but remember the red at the center of your eyes like a camera flash. Block prints, dyes,flaming orange skirts with bells at the fringe, streak of blue through midnight black hair. Walk along the sea shore, wonder about the other side of the ocean, at the exact same spot, is someone standing there too? Wishing upon a star? With pristine white gloves and shoes to match. Someone who looks through her veil and has to return..Or is it someone who stands there with a grimy shirt but free as the wind and the sea in front of her. Is it you? Looking at yourself from afar wondering if this is what it means to be alive.

Fuschia Flash

I finally did it.

Streaked my hair I mean. Dint get the actual dark purple I wanted (after my last disaster where I spent an hour carefully applying the purple color but it dint show on my dark hair. One has to bleach and then color it seems. Decided against. My poor tresses have gone through a lot already), but I'm very happy with dark pinkish maroon, Fuschia is what they like to call it at L'oreal. So now I get to toss my un-boring hair fashionably..adding a little more color to my life. :-)

Peeps, be happy for me.

Why so serious??

So you might have gathered I saw The Dark Knight. I am not a big fan of super hero or action movies as such, but since everyone seemed to be raving about it, I decided to go ahead and see for myself what all the fuss is about. And did I surprise myself or what? I totally loved the movie. Apart from the awesome direction,costumes,dialogs and everything, it was Heath Ledger who made the movie worth watching. I agree I cringed during the gory blood-on-the-teeth scenes and couldn't watch two face in the beginning,I kinda got used to it after a while.The most difficult part for the next movie would be for the actor who would play The Joker to live up to Ledger - The lip twitch, mannerisms, psychotic eyes, everything.
I also found that Batman wasn't much of a stranger to me after all. Given that when he was a kid my not so little brother wanted to be Batman when he grew up. There was this one day, he was very vocal about not liking his name, Nana asked him if he had a choice what he would like to be named, and without batting an eyelid he replied 'Batman'. Till he was about seven, every birthday card and gift for me would be complete with the batman logo at the bottom, drawn out with his kid handwriting.
Don't miss the movie. And this is coming from someone who almost never watches action or superman/spiderman and all that jazz. So it really must be good! Oh, and white is definately Christian Bale's color. Makes him look even more gorge. Which might explain why when he isnt in the Batman garb or in a suit, he's always in a white shirt, save one 30 sec scene where he's wearing green.
In the other news, I finished 'Unaccustomed Earth' by Jhumpa Lahiri. I have read her previous books 'The Interpreter of Maladies' and 'The Namesake'. Her writing is pretty much the same as her previous books, trying to bring out the stark reality of Indian immigrant life. The only difference is that in this book, she talks about second generation Indians in America. The sons and daughters of the Indians who have settled here,called ABCDs(American Born Confused Desis). As I said before, I always feel that these authors talk only about the bland side of life. Why cant they write about happy things? Its not like everything that happens here is all monotony and gray. When I'm reading I go through these weird thoughts, and the story doesn't do much to make me feel better. Its like reading in black and white.
Right now I'm reading two books at the same time. (I know, I tend to do this a lot). One book for the bus and travel and one for at home. 'The Catcher in the Rye' by J.D Salinger and I just finished 'The Vine of Desire' by Chitra Divakaruni last night. Her writing is getting better with each book.I felt this one is more deep than the others,she defines each character more and was able to portray the different emotions one might have at different points of time in life.
I'm totally loving Salinger. I remember reading 'Franny and Zooey' long back at home. I think it's one of Nana's books and I read it in class 10. I don't remember much of it now and I need to read it again.
I'll start with The Inheritance of Loss in sometime and will keep you posted!

Blue bee doo

Yesterday morning the moment I woke up, the desire to go home was so strong it took me by surprise. I have never felt such strong an urge to wake up in my own bed - I mean in Chennai - in my room, and to find Nana reading the paper,Amma making dosas for V while he fusses and gets ready for school. I don't usually get into such moods, I do miss home and everything, but yesterday was different. I guess I was generally bummed that I din't go anywhere this long weekend while everyone had their respective plans.I had to cancel my trip to visit Savi at Philly because of my final project for the summer course I'm taking. To add to it, the project seems waaay longer than it actually is and it feels like it will take forever to finish.

I watched this movie called 'Outsourced' which provided me with a few laughs. Its about this guy in the US who is sent to India to train the employees at a Call center and how he adjusts there. He lands up in this weird ass village outside Mumbai(I dint know they have call centers in Villages), stays in this Auntyji's guest house and endures extra sweet tea and ironed underwear. Oh, and he falls in love with the smartest girl in the office(Surprise surprise!!).

Other than that, I fell down like a child the other day - twisted my ankle a little, and bruised my knee. *sniff* Now I can wear only floaters. Wore my pants and capris the whole of last week so that my bruise doesn't show. I'm fed up and back to my skirts. So what if I have a bruise? Hmph. And then I cut my finger while cutting onions a couple of days back and now its all bandaged. Wonder why its been such an accident prone week?

The library at school finally decided to issue Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri to me. Will give my valuable inputs once I'm done reading it. He is waiting for me to finish so I should be done reading by tomorrow if my wonderful project doesn't get in the way.

Oh, and I went to DC on the 4th to watch the fireworks. In spite of the rain I had a nice time sitting huddled under an umbrella eating fries and watching the display. Too bad I dint have someone sitting with me. Under the same umbrella I mean. blah.But I've had enough of the male species anyway.

Watched Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na last night. Was quite nice I guess. Had all the ingredients of a hindi movie but wasn't one of those heavy bollywood types either. A one time watch if you need some good laughs. Genilia looks pretty, but got slightly irritating after a while with the giggly girl image(Which was worse in 'Bommarillu'). Amir Khan's nephew put up a decent show being his first movie and all. No movie is complete without one of those stupid comedy routines. If it was Jaaved Jafri in Salaam Namaste, it was Arbaaz and Sohail Khan here. Argh. WHY? WHY cant a hindi movie just be nice and fun without people making fools of themselves? And the clichéd ending at the airport and all dint do much for the movie. oops. Did I just give out something? The movie is so predictable anyway you'll know the ending even at the beginning.

I shouldn't be trashing it this much because the movie is actually decently fun. Watch it if you have the time.

tantrums

Have you ever wanted to scream till your lungs burst?
Cry till you dont have any tears left?
Forget about everything and just do what you want that brings you peace even if you know that it might not be the wisest thing to do right now?
Just take a random walk and think for yourself even if you dont have all the answers and probably never will?
Felt when you were younger that when you 'grow up' things will be clearer to you, and now that your grown up they are still the same?
And you are still asking yourself the same questions?

More than a bit of wood..

In a 5 year old's life not many things are as interesting as the latest game of 'skating' on a floor 'sprinkled' generously with talcum powder wearing our Uncles socks. So one normal un-eventful day, Nana and Pedanana inform us (my cousins M,M and I) that we are proud owners of a new desk each. Now you can imagine what such information could do to three children under the age of 10. We forced our mildly interested selves to hang around until the tables were brought in. Along with it, came a red coloured chair for each of us. Only once the table and chair was set up for each of us,the real excitement began. Lines had to be drawn and borders established so that we wouldn't venture into each other's 'territory'. The chairs were put together facing outwards with a sheet on top to make a tent. The drawers were filledd up with our precious possessions of colored paper, pebbles, shells and other such treasures.Each of us had our own fort and it was our new place to eat, read, play, and err.. sleep. Which was when the parental unit drew the line. Our names were carved not so neatly on the surface and one look at the table even now will take you through our handwriting progress over the years. The drawers were privy to more than just one secret of our growing up years, and graduated from holding pebbles and shells to music cassettes, books and a lot more. It was my place for storing precious stationary, especially the glitter glue my darling brother used to 'decorate' my table. Anything that I wouldn't want to throw away would go into the desk drawer. From time to time Amma would remind me to clean it up and would gently inquire if it all was being kept for my grandchildren. To which she would quite sternly inform me that no one in their right mind would want to keep any of that stuff.
Just before I left home, when we were deciding what to keep and what not to, it was time for my friend to go. Looking at it made me think back to the day it was brought home, and was a part of my life, my growing up years. The books dumped on it, the paintings painted on it, my name carved on every available space in different colors and fonts.It seemed like I was leaving a part of my childhood behind, and in a symbolic way, a time for new beginnings.

Mad Mornings

5 45 - S's alarm . Switch off . Every 15 minutes . S's alarm . 7.45 . Gasp . Run for a bath. 5 min shampoo . Blue cut offs . Printed super cute tee . big blue earrings . Pack bag . Laptop . Charger . Keys . Wallet . mp3 player . Thumb drive . ID . Lunch . Youghurt . Water Bottle . Dry Hair . Black Kajal . Pink Gloss . 7 min left . Gasp . Printed Flip Flops . Make S change from brown to cute green tie up tee . Scrunchie . Grab bag . Lock . Elevator . Downstairs . Phone . Run upstairs . Find phone . Run downstairs . Gasp . 8.09 . 1 min left . 8.10 . Bus stop . Sigh . Smartrip . Metro bus . Get down . Run . Work . French Vanilla Cappuccino . Croissant . Work . Sigh . Made it . Tired . 5 pm . Shopping . Movie . Grin.

Another week goes by

Here I am, on another sunday night, doing the assignment at the last minute. I guess thats just another part of student life. Last minute work, cram for a test,whatever it may be. The whole week was so hectic that the weekend pretty much compensated for it. I actually got bored. I really want to do something that occupies my time, so that I just dont have to THINK. My mind has been driving me up the wall the last one week after certain changes in my life. A conversation with Schmetterling and a couple of other girlfriends made me wonder if everyone is going through these changes too.Change IS inevitable. What I feel today might not be the same as what I feel 5 years later. What I felt when I was 18 isn't necessarily how I feel now. Somehow, coming to a different country and a new place has made me realize that I can be way more independent than I thought I could be earlier. Its Ok if I don't always have to ask for someone's opinion. Its alright if I do not make a best friend everywhere I go. I already have my wonderful bunch of girlfriends who I know will understand me through every phase of life I go through and I will understand them too. I wish they were there with me right now. I really need some girl time. A stay over, junk food and a long talk into the night.Yes Nana, how ever scandalized you might have been when you saw my gtalk status message, maybe its girlfriends who are your soulmates. And no, people.. dont get any ideas.

The way you are

Do you believe in Karma? That whatever that is meant to happen will ultimately happen how much ever you try and make it go your way? What if you were meant to think that way in the first place? That is written for you to feel that way. You think that by making those choices and behaving in a certain way you are trying to change your fate. But those thoughts and the sequence leading to those thoughts was the way you were meant to think. That doesn't mean you sit back and take life as it comes. But even by doing everything that you are, and by living the kind of life you have is going to take a certain path irrespective of your decisions. Yes. Another debatable topic because we don't have an inkling about the external forces in this world. Are there even any external forces? I don't know and neither do you. But what about that gut feeling? That little voice that pipes up when you are going to do make a decision.Even if it is as small as is it going to be a Tiramisu or the Raspberry cheesecake? Do you just ignore it and still have that slight feeling of 'what if' or would you go by what it tells you?
I don't claim to be one of those sad women types who have to take on all the troubles of the family and world in general, but when do you start thinking for yourself? When is it what YOU want and not what your family, friends and even society wants out of you? I don't mean to even imply that it is easy for men, but how do you deal with expectation? How do you deal with the wants of you to be a good daughter, cousin, aunt, mother, friend and even a good neighbor and a part of good 'society'? Do you just do what you know that they think is right? Or do you do what your gut feeling tells you? And you know that by saying 'you have to strike a balance' is easier said that done and both the points of view and opinions are completely opposite.

Or do you want and need some just-be time?

Q tag,

Like I said, all Brat has been doing lately is flying,tagging and getting tagged. So here goes..

Let's start with the "rules":

* Link the person(s) who tagged you - Brat
* Mention the rules on your blog - the rule is..no rules! (cliche! :D)
* Mention 6 unspectacular quirks of yours - nothing about me is unspectacular!
* Tag 6 bloggers by linking them - *insert evil laugh*
* Leave a comment on each of the tagged bloggers' blogs letting them know they've been tagged - *more evil laughter*

Ok, so here goes for my 'spectacular' quirks..


1. I can never eat plain potato chips. Not even the no-one-can-eat-just-one Lays types. There has to be a dip..Salsa and sour cream are my fav. Although chips with sambar and curd rice is what does it for me. Must be the South Indian genes.

2. I get irritated with people who don't type full words and sentences properly. The occasional 'u' or 'r' is alright. But the 'H r u m fyn' and 'I wnt 2 go to skul coz m nt flng wel' drives me up the wall.

3. I cant sleep without reading a book.If I haven't gone to the library and don't have anything to read, I take out a book by Roald Dahl, James Herriot or Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe. I can read them over and over and over again to tide me over until my next visit to the library.

5.I have to sleep with 3 pillows. One for under my head,one to hug and one to put over my forehead/eyes. Like a small one. Even if I don't have one to sleep on, there has to be on ON my head.

6.If I ever kill an ant or any small creature type thing, intentionally or not, I always feel bad and say a silent prayer.And then horrible thoughts of what if it was me and some big creature stamps me kind of thing goes on in my head for two minutes.

A little more about me is now in the open. Hmm.I wonder who is reading this stuff.

And now... I tag..

Schmetterling
BG
Vamsee
Nikhilesh
I think..
IMJ

so one big evil laff to sign out! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Calforniaaa Caaalifornia

The wait is over boys and girls. Now you lucky people finally get to know how my trip to CaliforniaAAaa was. First of all, can I be mean and bitch about the effing long flight? Cheap tickets, and with very good reason I must say. Because of the stupid time difference between the East and the West coast, I spent like a day in the plane. And all they had to serve was some BAKED chips and juice. Over and over again after every stop. I now know why they call it an airbus. It literally felt like I was in a bus with 3 stops on the way. Thank god at least I dint have to change planes.
Anyway, once I reached I was d.e.a.d tired and slept like a log. A d.e.a.d log. I dint realize a 3 hour time difference would result in a bit of 'jet lag'. Which meant at 11 pm, 2 AM my time I was sleepy for the first two days. And I woke up at 8 30 AM which is actually 11 30 AM my time. That worked out fine for me. This holiday comprised of all the essential ingredients to have a great time. We shopped,ate, slept,visited places, partied, and gambled! SF was good, we dint get to see the golden gate bridge since it was foggy as usual. We drove to Napa Valley. Wine tasted and now I have a few favorites too. I realized I like White better than red, Reisling being my favourite and I absolutely LOVE dessert wines. The drive to Reno was perhaps the best part of the trip(apart from all the amazing shopping) and the Casinos even better! I won 30$ at the slot machines. Cheap Thrills!! It was all i expected it to be. Bling! Bling! Bling! People at tables, some of them with those suits and shades, some of them casual. But what I dint expect was the number of old people around.I guess they were the ones with the money. the 4 of us were probably the youngest in the place.
Now I'm back at School and back to the grind.The moment I stepped foot in College Park was when it struck me how much I have to do. Get back to school, attend summer class, assignments,project, work, sigh. But I love it. I'm not complaining. My week was so hectic I was determined to stay home this weekend and not do anything. I got to sleep in late,ate when I felt like, lazed around,watched a movie. The only productive thing I did was my assignment so I don't feel THAT useless. A bright new day and a new week from tomorrow. Lets see what it has in store for me! :-)

kinda blah but not quite there

Its been a while since I've blogged and with a good reason. Falling sick during the final week Isn't the best thing let me tell you. The health center at school seems to know me quite well. Especially since they couldn't find my veins for their dumb IV. So anyway, I'm done with those presentations and have the test coming up on Friday, a fact that doesn't quite thrill me considering that I would have finished it on Saturday if it wasn't for me being sick. Now all I'm looking forward to is the summer at CA. Will keep you posted on that. And so my state of semi-blahness continues till then!

If Only

As she opened her eyes, the early morning sun hit her face, she knew it was just another day in store for her. She shifted in the bed a little and the sheets crinkled under her weight. There was something comforting about the starched sheets and the solid wood of the almirah. She let her gaze linger on her reflection in the full length mirror. Her hair in a mess at the nape of her neck and her slightly smudged red bindi. The mark that almost dictates the way her life flows. She knew exactly what was the day was going to be like. The children had to be sent to school, the maids had to be supervised, breakfast, lunch and dinner had to be planned and cooked.

She got out of the bed, and entered the bathroom to brush her teeth. As she brushed, she checked for zits on her face, a habit that started when she was 15 and was never able to get rid of inspite of the smooth skin she now owned. She quickly showered while the phone rang a couple of times. She checked e mail sipping her morning coffee, and laid out her outfit for the day. Knee length pin striped black skirt, black stockings and white shirt with pink pin stripes. A black jacket to go with it as well. Shoes. She looked at the 40 different pairs of shoes she had and decided on the black low heeled pumps. She double checked her laptop bag to see if she had everything for the presentation. Today was the big day. A meeting with the boss and she hoped to floor them with her new designs. She walked out of the apartment mentally running through her checklist..Phone,Laptop,Keys,Wallet,cards...She felt the wind in her face and was happy to be alive..

She scolded herself for such thoughts as she got out of the bed. As she brushed her teeth and checked for zits on her face, she glimpsed a life she could have had..if only...

Old is gold?

Now, how many times have we heard this statement? Quite a lot I must say.Since we went to school and wrote 'proverbs' on the top of the board. How many times have we heard elders say that the olden days were golden days? Even more than that. At every family gathering, there would be some talk about fun times they had in 1960 or 1970 or whatever. When Shammi Kapoor came out with dil deke dekho and baar baar dekho and all his different dekhos they talked about the classics of the 40's. When we listened to 'Hum Bewafa', and 'dil Kya Kare' they extolled the beauty of Shammi Kapoor and Asha Parekh's songs. When Baazigar was a hit, Hum Bewafa was a classic. Well, we all have grown up with this kind of talk and just nod our head listening to this stuff. Slowly, this thing called age creeps up on us, silently while we aren't looking. We are so busy waiting to grow up as a teenager, we don't realize it until we start getting marriage proposals. Now we start reminiscing about school, and in the blink of an eye we are done with college too. Missing college life is a new topic. And then comes missing the first job.
So today, here I was sitting quietly in my room trying to get some reading done for tomorrow's class, and I open youtube. In a hindi song mood,start listening to 'Churake Dil Mera' , 'Jadoo Teri Nazar' and the like. I scrolled the page down a bit and read the comments. "Oh, my favourite song. What a classic. They dont make such songs these days. Thanks for bringing back old memories" were some of the comments. I couldn't help thinking it sounded familiar. When these songs came out, I would hear the exact same words. What rubbish is this? Look at Shilpa Shetty's clothes. They dont make them like before. How melodious R.D Burman's songs were.

I just smiled to myself. I dont want to say anything. I will probably talk about 'classics' like Om Shanti Om (new version) 20 years down the lane. So will you. So wipe that smirk off your face.

The Internet and Us

Is the Internet reducing the creativity among us? I know this is a debatable topic and that are two big sides to this coin. But in a way, I feel it does, in a few ways. We have this Indian night thing happening at pur school, and needless to say everyone is involved in some show or the other. I dont exactly know how I ended up in the dance event thing. After my initial reservations, I got into the mood and started having fun with the other girls. So we got together the other day with a bunch of songs in mind and started making up dance steps. Let me rephrase that. We opened you tube and started watching videos for ideas. It's besides the fact that we dont have too much time to spare for these dance shows and have to get things done as quickly as possible. You tube was the quickest way to ideas and we were almost done in no time. What im trying to say is that,we find almost any kind of information online. Are we really thinking as much as we used to? One could argue that we are infact using more innovative technology, different styles of architecture for the web and a million other advantages, most of which are technical. But for the layman, isn't this the easy way out? Just google it! Earlier, if I wanted to paint something, I would probably try to find a book, go to the library, open my window. But now, in a matter of milliseconds I have options in front of me. Literally. Is this in someway slowing down our thought process? Some of us wouldn't even attempt to think of new ideas. Especially for trivial things. The usual answer is "How difficlt will it be? We can find it online". I'm sure people who have been aroung much longer than I have, who have seen how the internet has brought about such a radical change in our lives and they way we look at things have something to say about it. I can say that I have been around longer than this phase of the net. But by the time I got to class 12, everyone was online. So I effectively have spent most of my time in this phase. I cant remember how it was before the Internet became our saviour. Maybt thats because school work dint warrant the use of such 'advanced' applications! :-)

Now don't get me wrong. I am a big fan of google and youtube. My lappie is my best friend these days. Im just trying to look at it from another point of view. The first thing I do after I wake up in the morning is check e mail!

I'd better get going. Need to search for some cool tattoo designs online!

Another tag!! Thanks Brat! grr!


1. Last movie you saw in a theater?
Juno - The first movie I watched after I got here. I really liked it.


2. What book are you reading?
I have been reading 'Brick Lane' by Monica Ali at snail's pace for the LONGEST time. I still havent finished it nor have I borrowed anything new from the library. On the other hand, I have been reading 'Information Ecology' By Davenport. I dont think it counts as leisure reading though. :-(

3. Favorite board game?
Monopoly and Cluedo

4. Favorite magazine?
Reader's Digest. I dont read magazines much other then when Im waiting at the Doc's or something.

5. Favorite smells?
Sunset heat buy Escada, Hugo's Deep red, Davidoff's Cool Water on a guy. :D
Also, I like the smell of mud during the first rains of the season. Reminds me of the days when I was at Abacus, when all of us would stand around puddles and watch tadpoles.


6. Favorite sounds?
Sometimes, the sound of silence is the best. Other wise it depends on my mood. But the smell of Amma making vadas on a Sunday morning beats them all.

7. Worst feeling in the world?
Losing someone and the realization that you will never see then walk through that door again. Ever.

8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?
In School - Ayyo. I dont want to go to school. I havent studied for the Maths test properly.
During Undergrad - Damn! I have to go to college! Cant I just bunk today?
When I was working - UGH. Do I have to go and deal with HER(a certain someone in my team) today again?
Now - Hmm. I'll wake up in half an hour. I have class only in the evenings. :D


9. Favorite fast food place?
Gangotree and Kenzo's for us old timers. Its called Eatalica now.

10. Future child's name?
:D this is a long list. I'm one of those types who loves names. So here goes - Rayaan, Vyas, Raiha or Mihiraa


11. Finish this statement. "If I had lot of money I'd....?"
Buy a car for myself. Right now, being the poor student that I am rely on the horrible horrible public transport.


12. Do you drive fast?
I havent driven here yet. According to my Amma's standards I was always fast. But all Amma's tend to think this way. So it cancels out!


13. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
No. I need to have my 3 pillows next to me though. One fur under my head,one to hug and one over my face. yeah. I dont know why. My fav stuffed bear hugs my fav photo on my side table. (A,this is for you!!! <3)


14. Storms - cool or scary?
Scary. Just the right time to cuddle up to someone.


15. What was your first car?
Considering it was Nana's car i drove first and I dont have one of my own yet, its a Santro.

16. Favorite drink?
Coffee. Also Sangria, and white wine.

17. Finish this statement, "If I had the time I would...."?
Travel more.


18. Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
yup


19. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?
Dark Purple. Which I actually did. But it dint show since my hair is already black. Im going to lighten and then streak it dark purple soon.


20. Name all the different cities/towns you've lived in?
Chennai, Bangalore and now College Park,MD

21. Favorite sports to watch?
Cricket I guess. I like watching Ice Skating a lot too. But not an avid watcher as such

22. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you?
Although I never spoke to him during 4 yrs of college, its fun chatting with him now!

23. What's under your bed?
Its a couch turned into a nice mid size bed. No place for anything under it. If there was, I would have arranged my shoes since there is no place for another shoe rack here.


24. Would you like to be born as yourself again?
Yes!


25. Morning person, or night owl?
Night Owl. I dont even have to think twice to answer this. If there was a petition for starting the day at Noon, i'd be the first one to sign.

26. Over easy, or sunny side up?
I used to LOVE sunny side up as a kid. But now its cheese omlette with green chillies.

27. Favorite place to relax?
On my bed with a good book, a packet of chips and sauce. Or chocolates. depending on my mood.

28. Favorite pie?
Apple. with vanilla ice cream.


29. Favorite ice cream flavor?
Vanilla with chocolate sauce, nuts and gooey choco fudge sauce.


30. Of all the people you tagged this to, who's most likely to respond first?
Im thinking Nikhilesh


And now, I tag..

B.G
I think Therefore..
Nikhilesh


yenjoiiii!

HB

Happy Birthday Anu Atha. Wish you were here with us. But now, I'm sure you must be happier with Aaji and Thatha with you. Love you and missing you lots.

Kangana - Tag!

New tag!!!!

Rules:

1. Put your MP3 player on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write the name of the song no matter what. No cheating!

DISCLAIMER : I'm adding this after finishing the post - I was in a very 90s mood the other day, you might find quite a few of the old hindi hit songs. Darr and the like!


IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY?” YOU SAY?
money for nothing and chicks for free - dire straits
money for nothing- yes, no problem with that! But chicks for free - I don't think so! Although a few people might be happy with that arrangement.:-P

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
zara sa jhoom loon mein - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge
Looking into the deeper meaning, I am a very cheerful person! :-P

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
ghazab ka hai din - Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak
Is deewanapan dekho zara... maybe!!!


HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
ondra irenda asaigal - kakka kakka
err...This is a family page. (muhahahaha)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
tum se hi - jab we met
Let me be honest and say, I'm not too sure if this fits here!


WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
In Dino - life in a metro
really???!!!

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Rukh Ja O Dil Diwane - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge
HAHA, was this what u you guys were singing when I left?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
beautiful stranger - Madonna
Well, when they got married I'm sure they must have been beautiful strangers to each other! (Can't think of any other explanation!!!)


WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
jaded - Aerosmith
I might be a little over worked because of all those assignments, but I dont think I am or ever been Jaded.

WHAT IS 2+2?
I want to break free - queen
If two is company, three is a crowd, 4 will definitely want to make you break free.


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
romeo and juliet - dire straits
Awww... she's getting married sometime soon, so looks like an apt song..with a happy ending though! :=) btw, two of my best friends will be getting married soon.


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
aaj ki raat - Don
erm... ??!!!!!! I hope nothing happens aaji ki raat since I'm all the way over here. If it does,someone will be in BIG BIG trouble.!


WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Ae mere humsafar - Baazigar
hmmmm..


WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
jaadu teri nazar - Darr
This is when I went into the 90s mood and loaded all those romatic songs. I cannot answer any more questions!!!!!


WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
tu mere saamne - Darr

This is more like it. *grin*. A... are u reading this??? :D


WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
aankhon mein teri - Om shanti Om
I know they like my eyes. They must be thinking someone's drowning in them? and you know what... they might be right! :-P


WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
main agar kahoon - Om Shanti Om
Wont this be so *awwwww*?


WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
tere bin - bas ek pal
*sniff*

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
butterfly - crazy town
I know Schmetterling is one of them, but I wouldn't call her a hobby or an interest.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Crazy In Love - Beyonce
Secret???? At one point of time, yes! which was what made it more awesome! :D A, are u reading thisss????


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Ignition - R Kelly
NO!!! I don't think so!!


WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Kangana - Dr. Zeus
I dont like bangles as such, but love bracelets.


I think therefore tagged me, and I totally agree that it was super fun!!! :)

And now I tag :

Schmetterling (Obviously!!)
B.G
Brat
Zudec
Nikhilesh
Nikhil

(Dint want to subject the guys to pink links! :) )

el em en oo peeeee

My friend has decided he has become more philosophical and now qualifies to become a saadhu. Although he has to grow a beard first, stand on one leg and have birds pee on him.

Which brings me to the next question. Do birds pee? We, (at least I) have seen only kaka pee, which when translated from LKG jargon is crow poop. Which ALWAYS falls on some poor soul wearing that favourite new t shirt who happened to be standing under the neem tree housing over-fed crows. what'd u guys have to say about this? *EWWWWW*

Little Clouds Of Thought

I just made up that random title. Here I am on a Sunday afternoon bordering on the evening, doing an assignment. Other than organizational politics, there are a million things running in my mind right now. The first one of them is today would have been my Grandmother's 81st birthday - Aaji, I hope you're reading this, and all my love is with you. Do you read my blog regularly? :D - I am also wondering how I'm going to get all my work for school done in a very short time. I was asked by a certain someone to write more serious stuff here. But what if I dont want to? Its my space just to be. I don't have to write all kinds of techie stuff in order to be cool. Nor do I have to write about management and my ideas of a better strategy. I love writing about general things, my thoughts, friends,family and I have a fun time writing about my shopping escapades.
This is the second or the third saturday night and sunday I'm spending studying. If this was Chennai, saturday night would have been spent having dinner outside or a general night out with friends. Sunday afternoon would have been at A's place watching That 70's Show episodes or some movie. Shyam providing us with entertainment. The evening would inevitably end at Subway, with A finishing his sub and mine, and then going home to Thayir saadam. (next time you ask me why ur jeans size went up without you realizing, i'm going to direct you to this space)
All these things make me miss Madras more and more. But on the other hand I do love it here as well. I don't really know where it is that I want to end up. One of my best friends is getting engaged tomorrow and needless to say, I am not going to be there. I will probably miss her wedding as well. "Be prepared to miss a lot of things now that your here" was what I was told by my cousin. But I dont want to. I dont want to miss things that are happening with my family and my friends, with people whom I care for. At the same time, I dont want to forgo what I am doing here. I guess I'm speaking not just for myself, but a whole bunch of people in the same situation. I do not regret coming here, I will not regret any decision that I probably am going to take. Cause thats one question that I always ask to make things clear to myself "Ne, are you going to regret this decision a year or 10 years later?" If the answer is no, then I know what to do.

One thing that really puts me off, is people who come here and then complain that this place is not like India. Why the eff would it be? You are half way across the world, how can you even EXPECT it to be the same? I come across a whole bunch of these types. I dont like the supermarkets here. I dont like the way the vegetables taste. Its not like home where everything is so tasty. The Indian store is too expensive. What is this we are studying? Such a stupid subject. I just cannot refrain from asking why did they make this choice to even come here in the first place. Why would one spends lakhs of rupess to come and study here, and then diss the country? I feel that the whole experience and quality of education is wasted on them.
Some thing that I have tried to explain to people. I am not anti-any country. I do not love or hate any place. I will just probably gravitate towards an opportunity that will help me grow professionally and on a personal level as well. I have a special love for home because of the support system that exists there. Why wouldn't I love to be closer to my family and enjoy the benefits of a good education and a career? I did not come to a country half way across the world just for fun!

Shreg, Ne, Dcee and some more

The best birthday present I could have asked for landed up at my doorstep last Sunday night. I open the door to find Ms.Schmetterling standing there with one big suitcase. After recovering from the surprise, we quickly made plans to go to the mall the next day. I really cannot ask for a better shopping partner. There is this vibe you have to share to really enjoy the whole experience. I've tried in vain to feel the same vibe with other people, but I can REALLY shop with only a few! (Amma, you're included) The best buy was Shre's, a cheek stain by Tarte. Check out her blog for more info! My best buy was a pair of jeans. I have always had a huge problem buying jeans from India, especially Levis. They're made for size 2 women who have the same waist and butt size. Oh, and I love my white summer dress as well. The fact that it was on sale makes it even more attractive. Cant wait to wear it at Ann Arbor this summer!
We were off to Washington DC the next day. We walked and walked and did more walking. With my bad foot.(Do you hear this Shregs?) We did the touristy thing.Walked around the mall area, saw the Capitol building,the Washington monument, looked at all the
Smithsonian Museums. Thats what we did..Looked and then walked right past them.The next day we drove to Phily- Thats Philadelphia but I call it Phily to sound waaay cooler than I actually am- The day after that was spent at Baltimore. Walked around the Inner Harbour and took this boat ride. That boat ride was quite interesting I must say. A loud gay german guy got on board and started showing everyone his purchases and how much 'fun' shopping is. And then started talking in German to shregs. I almost died laughing. The only word I think I understood was ich. It was time for the flight back all too soon. Over all, a super fun birthday week. What are best friends for if they cant make the homesickness go away and sit with you in Class 722 for Copyright and Digital Law?

Tagged

Thanks to u-know-who(read : schmetterblllaaahhh) I was reminded how long its been since I carried a handbag. I am heavily into backpacks now. I havent carried once since I finished school and moved on to the cooler side sling bags with a couple of keychains with 'witty' sayings. 'I am not perfect, but im so close its scary' . Another one was 'Boys have two faults.Everything they say and everything they do'.I still have them somewhere as a part of college memorablia.

I am looking into my backpack right now and this is what I find...

The big compartment :)

. My Laptop, which is my best friend these days

. Multicolour folder with a bunch of resumes, papers, labels etc

. 10-15 Pamphlets of various companies which had come to school for some career fair(which I have to wait for another semester to apply, but got them anyway!!)

. A Lipton Raspberry Ice Tea Carton they were giving away

. Red Spare jacket, Im thanking my stars I have it with me now. I havent gotten used to checking the weather report and I dint know snow fall was predicted and its snowing. Going to play in it after class :)

. Super warm woolen scarf. Although I thought it was an ultra drab grey colour and cursed chennai for having such crappy winter clothing, its pretty good.

. Pink Gloves, my fav. Light nice pink with slight light brownish cream thread interwoven here and there to give it a warm glow and pink fleece lining.

. Small dabba with a hummus and jalapeno sandwhich.

. Kutty water Bottle

. Orange flowered address book

. gold and bronze bling wallet which has the $(notice I dint say $$$$). Also has cards, A's old visiting card :), pics of Nana and vaibs, Amma's is at home, Indian drivers licence, PAN Card, Senthil Lending library card(i miss uuuu), Kumaran Lending library card(which shut down when Senthil took over), bunch of folded bills from some shops, teeny weeny thin perfume bottles by BLV.

. Black Sunglasses case

. Umbrella borrowed from my friend when it rained the other day and I dint have one. I promised myself I will buy one tomorrow.

. Small dabba with my ischool USB drive which they were giving away at the research facility do


Now for the front compartment - This has essentially what my handbag usually does!

. 3 small packs of tissues - I am tissue freak. My wet tissue pack is over.mental note made to buy a new one

. School ID card

. Metro Bus smart trip card

. My house and apartment building keys

. 2 small butterfly clips

. 3 scrunchies in 3 diff colours

. A couple of bills - target, shoppers, and Bed,Bath and Beyond :)

. Tube of soap Slivers Amma bought for me in chennai. super cute. also in pink and white, in pretty shapes. hearts and stars. U never know when you need to wash your hands.

. 4 boxes of mints in different flavours - normal, extra strong, orange and sour berry. Im freakish about bad breath.

. 3 pens. in blue and black

. cocoa butter box, which Ammamma got from jaipur. its the BEST.

. Small hairbrush

. Random pieces of paper ive scribbled on

. Streetwear plain lip gloss

. Extra pair of specs

. Revlon diamond lipstick in pink crush. my abs fave. esp when mixed with lakme's mauve.

. Clinique glitter gloss

. Earbugs - these woolen things which fit on top of the ear and protect from the windchill. cant go out without it.

. Bronze earrings which I removed the other day and forgot to put back inside

. Empty mentos packet which I JUST threw away.

. USB Drive

. Lappie charger entangled with my cell phone charger. They're always together, and im always in a hurry so I just dump them in.

. Label from my dept with my name printed on it

. Honey and Oat Granola Bar

. Caboodles 2 in 1 Lip gloss. One side is the lightese of pinks and one side is clear with a bit of glitter

. 2 Handouts which they gave in class, folded and put inside

. Bill from USPS

. Small size adidas perfume

. Fav kutty mirror

. That spare mascara

. Extra Lens case

. Tiny lancome pink perfume. somehow always lands up in every bag i carry

. blue flowered notebook that goes everywhere I go

. Black Glitter eyeliner

. Cell Phone, but thats usually in my pocket

. Tube of hand cream

. Latest addition - Davidoff Cool water pocket perfume


I dont think I should add the stuff in my handbag at home for now... hmm. no wonder I was asked if I was going camping the other day! :)

Gloves and warm socks

OK so I have settled here. Waiting for my lappie to arrive. I was all excited waiting for my Dell to get here yesterday when I found out 31st jan was the SHIPPING date, not the delivery date. grr. so its back to square one. As most of u know, at the risk of sounding redundant, we cant SURVIVE without a comp. So different from how college was. I would just scribble something onto sheets of paper, wihout a margin and submit my 'assignment'. Not like the staff cared much anyway. The other day I spoke to two friends, at two different times of the day, in different locations and they both HAD to mention i was the fastest 'writer' among our group(or whatever you call it. group sounds too high school). Im serious. Learning to multi-task was a bonus too. I could effortlessly combine writing an assignment with listening to class, reading my novel,replying to SMS, laugh at Fadil and Girish's antics who were sitting behind us. Oh, and talking to harshini too. Is there any award for such talents? If there are and it involves a nice month long spa holiday as a prize I am a willing contenstant. Otherwise im not interested.hmm. A nice new wardrobe and matching shoes are ok too! Perfumes count as well.

I cant deny im missing home. I cant believe im saying this, but im missing the weather. After spending 22 3/4th long years complaining - Im sure I complained in baby language till i was about 11 months old.That was when I was supposed to have said my first word - By the time I get into the various winter paraphernalia-socks, shoes,scarf,sweater,coat, and gloves, its time to take them all off.

So any time your at College Park during the next couple of years, or any surrounding areas, irrespective of the weather, no prizes guessing who the one bundled up like a bear is. Or anywhere near Dallas or Ann Arbor for that matter!!!

And my nana dint think too much of my gtalk status message. Quoting him : your status message is ridiculous. grr. fine. hmph. im 22 and 3/4. I can get away with it. So whats my birthday present? I know you read my blog, so start working them grey cells. looouve.

Jet Lag and more..

This is a first for me I must say.. I woke up at 7 AM on a SUNDAY MORNING. If Amma knows she's going to faint!! All these years of trying to wake up Ne early.

I havent had the time to blog the last couple of days.Inspite of having two months to 'prepare' to leave, I couldnt escape the last minute stuff. One cannot pack a month in adavnce even if she wants to right??? My room looked like it was hit by a tornado. clothes, shoes and accessories all over the place. Being a girl, clothes are just one part of it. We have so much of other stuff. It pained me to leave behind so many things. Although I managed to squeeze in ALL of my new shopping and memorablia. 23 kgs * 2 is nothing. NOTHING I tell u. Those stupid suitcases take up 5 kgs EACH by themselves. Needless to say all my luggage was over-weight. Including my backpck. The said backpack was around 11 kgs. It was HUGE. I was the only one on the flight with such a big bag..on my back. Let alone people leaving way for me, they had to leave way for Mr.Heavy too. Now I know how the turtle felt. Carrying its house on the back and that kind of thing. My back went for a sixer. I was aching and paining the whole time. To make it worse, I was going from chennai-doha-washington DC. Which meant my flight left at 4 AM, reached doha at 7 AM THEIR time. And landed at D.C 7 30 THEIR time.
Essentially I was travelling in sunlight all through. I thought I prided myself on my ability to sleep through thick and thin. I survived 4 years of sleeping from home to SRM in the college bus. I swear I was jinxed. Everyone put 'kannu' on me all through. Ne can sleep anywhere. She can sleep standing was Amma's fav statement. sigh. I dint get a wink of sleep. I read, ate, watched Game Plan, an Italian and a french movie with subtitles. Also 'Friends' and 'Joey'. For the nth time.

I kept thinking about my family and friends. When am I going to see them again? A year later? Im missing out on getting to know my brother on a more grown up level. He'll be 16 now. The previous day, my house was literally bursting at its seams. Every one was at home. I felt so loved when they came to see me off. Im going to miss this. Mindless chatter and coffee, Talking to nana, cooking at home, making stuff my brother likes. Although now, i'm closer to A and to schmetterling. It was a weird feeling. Like as if I was outside Ne's body and looking at her getting ready. Saying bye. Hugs and kisses. Amma forbade tears. This is a happy occasion,higher studies. No crying.

Listening to everyone's first experiences in America, I must say mine has been awesome. Nana's friends came to receive me at the airport, and brought me to their place. A very smooth transition. This is just like home. I dint have to battle the cold,snow and lug 3 over weight cases with me. I am being taken care of so well. It feels wonderful to know such good people. At times like this, one realises the strength and importance of good relationships. Be it family or otherwise. This is something that will be understood as time goes by.

As nik said, The little baby has to eventually fly away from its nest, or run or walk away even if its too late and grows into an ostrich.

Madras Music And Dance Festival

I was wondering what to name this post. Initially, I started off with Madras Winter Music and Dance Festival. But then realised where I erred. The words 'Madras/Chennai' and 'winter' dont go together in the same sentence!I duly changed it.

I'd gone to see a dance performance last evening, by Alarmel Valli(Bharathnatyam) and Madhavi Mudgal(Odyssey). It was fab. Im not a connoisseur of dance, but I do know just that little bit to say if a performance is really good or not. Bharathnatyam as a dance is of straight lines, and a cutting smart performance. Odyssey is more slow and sensuous. The contrast between the two was quite pronounced. It was apparent especially during the first 3 dances which Madhavi and Valli did together. I felt that Valli stole the show and outclassed Madhavi. Maybe that was because odyssey being a slow dance has its own pace and beautiful when seen by itself. It was obvious during Madhavi's solo performance. Danced to hindustani music, a story about Krishna.

My favourite was the 3rd number, a thillana by the both of them.Composed by Balamurali Krishna, it was lively, and absolutely stunning. Valli's posture, movements and rhythm were superbly flawless. Madhavi was more fluid and smooth.
Valli finished with a slow dance, a tamil song sung for a baby Amman. Resplendent in white, the essence and expression was very nicely portrayed.

I generally like fast paced dance and needless to say the thillana was my favorite of them all. Amma and i enjoyed ourselves, and felt it was totally worth going early, and getting good seats.

Although I was sent for music classes(just like 99.99% of all south indian brahmin girls) I've always wanted to learn dance.Now its too late. They send girls to learn at a very young age, and now a 22 yr old girl prancing with 5 and 6 year olds will be slightly weird I must say.

This whole cultural experience takes on a whole new turn when we visited Dakshin Chitra today. Its this heritage center where they have recreated South India of the 1900s. Brick by brick, built ancient houses from Tamil Nadu, Andhra Pradesh, Kerala and Karnataka. It was definitely beautiful. To enhance the feeling, there are numerous activities. We got our future told by one guy with a parrot which picks out cards, (where Hema and Aishu were told that they were actually supposed to be born as boys, and I shouldn't wear black for the next 6 months), did pottery,block printing. and took tons of pictures.

As soon as we reached, near the reception was a gift shop. True to ourselves, we went in there first. Where I bought the cutest kalamkari pouch bag. Hello. We have a reputation to keep up. How can we not go into a shop right in front of us?? I know I have lots to carry and am being warned about excess baggage everyday. But I have my priorities right. As many clothes, bags and shoes I can manage! :-)

A new chapter??

Jan 3rd is a bit too late to be wishing everyone, better late than never! so.. Happy New Year to all u guys!

I usually don't celebrate new year as such, Its just an excuse to meet up with friends and go out(which we usually aren't allowed to do on account of bad 'elements' and their drunken driving). I'm not complaining..As i've said before, I'm perfectly content sitting around and chatting with friends. The last new year when I was in college, we coudn't do anything even if we wanted to. Coz we had an exam the next day. Now, how lame is that? An exam on new year's day? There was this big rumour that for our seniors, the university released their exam results on new year's eve. So writing an exam dint seem that bad after all.

This year, just a few of us school friends went out to dinner, not too far(for reason, pls refer paragraph 1, line 2) and got back to my place, chatting till the wee hours. But this time around, I actually did have a reason to celebrate even if according to the telugu calendar Ugadi(telugu new yrs day) is a few months ahead. A new phase of life awaits me. Moving half way across the world, to become a student again. A new country, lifestyle, people,surroundings.
I've been told its not as bad as I think, that when they went 50 years back it was so different. By they I mean tons of relatives and family friends, who are American Citizens now. Drinking only Evian, and snapping away with their Nikons, Jansport backpacks and buying look alike ivory elephant carvings for their friends ar work. Will I end up like that? Living in a different part of the world, my kids speaking with a foreign accent.Or maybe, I'll end up living in India itself? Only time will tell.I will look at this blog a number of years later and recollect the mixed feelings I have right now.OR

A part of me is looking forward to this move. I am gearing up myself. A part of me wants to stay back here. With family and friends. But later on I don't ever want to regret my decisions saying I should have taken the opportunity when I had it.

For now, I celebrated this new year, for new beginnings and a new life ahead.*Cheers*

Strawberries galore

Strawberry cake, with cream cheese and strawberry frosting and fresh strawberry.. yes, it does taste better than it looks, et oui, I baked it from scratch. I have to show off. Does good things to my ego! No, there's none left. The family polished it off!